Disconnected Thoughts

I had a hard time focusing on any one thing today; my thoughts kept wandering, especially at my fellowship meeting.  I thought about: fantasy literature, the cookies we could have afterwards, Star Trek, the cookies, kindness, the cookies, the Old Testament, and probably some other things I can't remember.  I really couldn't focus today!  Despite that, though, despite the fact that I felt inadequate for my complete inability to concentrate on the speaker and think about what s/he was talking about for more than like two seconds, I still felt a calmness in my soul that I know came from God.  Just more proof that He can work through our human nature!

At fellowship today we read a short passage from Proverbs that ended by saying something along the lines of 'do good things and God will repay you.'  No!  That's not how it works anymore!  I mean, yes, God died for me and that's pretty awesome and I suppose could be seen as repaying us for the kindness we do (yeah, just kidding, this thought doesn't actually make any sense... but I'll keep going), but He died for everyone whether they follow Him or not.  Which is a pretty mind-blowing concept, when you think about it.  Anyway, what I was getting at was the fact that I was wondering about the Old Testament.  I've been noticing lately as I've been reading it how very much it's all focused on earning God's love and all the laws and whatnot (although maybe it'll get better once I get through the Pentateuch and all the laws).  And that's not what Christianity is about--so why is it included in the Bible?  The ideas in it are so different than what Christ ultimately teaches.  I've heard the idea that it's the background/history of God's decision to send Jesus, and to some extent I understand that.  But it's also something I've been thinking about a bit lately.

Another thing I've been thinking about (well, mostly just during the fellowship meeting, but whatever) was fantasy literature (which I totally love) and the relation of the characters in those books to some 'Other power'.  Pretty much every fantasy book I've ever read ultimately had some 'other power' that gave the characters power, led and guided them, unified all the good characters, and/or is the ultimate 'good'.  It seems as if almost everyone knows, at least at some level, that people can't really accomplish things like fighting the ultimate evil (like pretty much every fantasy person does) with help, help from something bigger than just another person.  I was also thinking, though, that I wouldn't want to fight evil just for some nameless, faceless, emotionless (or ridiculously emotional--read: a god like the Greek/Roman gods) 'power'.  Well, maybe I would if I didn't know about my God--who can say?--but how would I know, then, that what I thought was right was actually right?  I prefer a real God that I can talk to and hear from, and that I know loves me and died for me.