Thursday, March 8, 2012

Being sick

Yesterday I was sick.  Actually, I'm still sick today.  But yesterday after I posted here, I started thinking about how being sick affected how I was thinking.  About a lot of things, I just thought, "Oh, I'm sick, it's fine" and dismissed mediocrity that I totally would not accept from myself under normal circumstances. So today, even though I was sick, I consciously resisted thinking about things like that.  I tried to just give everything my best effort, and the fact that I was sick didn't play into the picture at all.  And, oddly enough, it worked.  I can only attribute it to God, although I'm ashamed to say that I didn't ask for His help with this all that much.  But somehow, I ended the day feeling less sick than I did when I started it, and I really tried with many things rather than focusing all my mental energy on how sick and miserable I was.

Unfortunately, then I had to fight with the opposite problem, of becoming proud of myself and how much I accomplished and so on and so on.  I really was not centered in God today, at all.  I can only thank Him for helping me so much despite that, and ask for His forgiveness.

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