Genesis 29

Jacob goes to Laban, Rebekah's brother.  They agree that Jacob will work seven years in return for Rachel as his bride.  That seems like a really long time.  Rachel doesn't seem to have any say.  But for Jacob, the seven years "seemed to him like a few days because of the love he had for her."  Aww.  Then Laban gives him Leah instead of Rachel.  WHAT??  Why did Laban do that?  Poor Leah, given to a husband who didn't even want her.  Just the deceiver of Esau and Isaac has now been deceived.  Your justice, Lord?  Then he works for another seven years for Rachel--wow, he must have really loved her.  Oh, and Jacob really didn't notice it was Leah until the next morning??  Someone pointed out to me once that he was probably drunk, and that makes sense.  Jacob really favored Rachel; again, poor Leah.  And You didn't like the favoritism, so You blessed Leah (isn't that another form of favoritism?)  And after first son Leah says, "Surely now my husband will love me."  That's so sad, how she sees herself as worth only her children, tries to earn Jacob's love.  Thank You that we don't have to earn Your love.  Please be with everyone everywhere who are trying to get their worth from the wrong thing.

Details

Today I saw some plants growing on the wall, they struck me as really beautiful.  It's the little things--just looking at all the details, the intricacy of everything.

Didn't do a Bible thing this morning, I felt You calling me not to.  So I just talked to You instead.  It was nice.

Genesis 28

Jacob sent away, to find a wife of his own people.  Then Esau tried to please his parents, when he saw what Jacob did and that they liked it, by marrying one of his people, one of Ishmael´s daughters.  That's really sad.  Trying anything you can to please your parents--he must really not feel loved by them.  Also, why did Isaac bless Jacob again when Jacob left?  That seems stupid to me, if he really did regret blessing Jacob instead of Esau.  Jacob sees angels going into heaven.  First thought here was: why did you show such a jerky person such a cool thing?  But am I any better?  We all have our flaws.  I would never steal anything from my brother, but I still sin against You and against others in other ways.  Like Abraham, when God speaks to him somewhere, Jacob's reaction is to worship and create an altar.  That's a good reaction; please help me to have so good of a reaction.  And I think Jacob is the first to mention tithing.

Train Station

At the train station today, I started praying for everyone who walked by.  Watching everyone.  I got a bit of a feel for how amazing You are--You know everything about every one of those people, can pay attention to all of them at the same time.  And not just the 100+ that I saw today, but all the 6 billion that live on this planet.  You are amazing.

Genesis 27

That was ridiculous--that was exactly like a soap opera!  How Jacob pulled off that deception seems a little feeble to me, but Isaac did ignore the fact that it was Jacob's voice ( and Esau must have been really hairy when wearing a goat skin felt like him).  Rebekah unabashedly loves Jacob more.  Why?  Here you can see that favoritism pulls families apart.  And the family seems to be a warzone, not a group of people who love\support each other.  How horrible.  The idea of blessing--the power of words.  Once said can't be retracted (my Bible says, "like an arrow shot towards its goal"), and the words said influence your life forever.  Words powerful for them, like names.  I wish we thought like that sometimes, that things you say for forever, can't be undone, so shouldn't lie or anything.  We as a culture, I mean.  Poor Esau.  He keeps trying to do things the right way and keeps being deceived and outsmarted by Jacob.  It's very sad.

Genesis 26

Isaac went to see Abimelech too.  You're always talking here about how You were Abraham's god too, and how great Abraham was; I wonder if that frustrated Isaac, how well he got along with his father.  You also remind Isaac that You will keep Your promises.  Then Isaac tells everyone that Rebekah is his sister; it must run in the family.  But no one tries to take Rebekah, instead someone sees Isaac "fondling" Rebekah.  How inappropriately would that have been seen?  I feel like married people didn't show affection in public (especially when they're pretending to be related?  That was stupid, Isaac).  Lesson: don't lie about things, don't let your emotions get away from you.  Trust in You rather than lies to protect you (although You still protected Isaac--don't need to be perfect).  Everyone dislikes Isaac because he's so rich and powerful.  Lonely for Isaac?  Lots about wells--water was power.  Isaac makes an oath with Phillistines.  You appear to Isaac again.  How did You appear?  Why don't You do that now?  Or was it the same as now?  Or were they more willing to believe in manifestations or voices or whatever back then?  The little section about how Esau's wives "made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah" made me laugh.

Genesis 25

Mostly genealogy.  Abraham marries someone else supposedly, and they have tons of kids (didn't get Abraham's blessing of multitude, though?).  Why did he marry again?  Sarah wasn't good enough for him?  He also wasn't very nice to his other sons, just gave them a few gifts and sent them away from Isaac.  Gee thanks, dad.  Then Abraham dies.  Isaac and Ishmael actually deal with the burial together.  Ishmael had lots of kids.  Isaac had Esau and Jacob.  Favoritism.  Then Esau sells his birthright for some lentils... that was smart.  That's why not to let emotions dominate.  There wasn't any other food in the house? 

Life

Saw a butterfly on a flower today.  Life goes on despite death and suffering, to them our suffering isn't important.

Genesis 24

Abraham wants Isaac to have a wife from the Canaanites, sends his servant (who's never named) to find him a wife.  The servant prays to the "God of my master Abraham," not his god.  :(  But You still listen to him--You help him find Rebekah, she helps the servant with his camels.  There, she's very kind.  The servant's invited in--more of their hospitality.  The servants repeats the whole story, practically word-for-word--remember reading once that it's because the stories originally spoken, the audience needed to be reminded of what's happened, enforce with repetition.  They actually gave Rebekah a choice--I'm surprised.  What would have happened if she'd said no, though?  And then Isaac and Rebekah marry.

Genesis 23

Sarah died.  Abraham doesn't seem very upset--oh, just kidding, he totally mourns for her.  Abraham buys a cave for her burial.  He refuses to accept the cave for free, insists on paying full price for it (so he's not seen as asking for/accepting charity?).  Why was this story considered important enough to be written down and told?  Is Machpelah/Hebron in what would become Israel?

Genesis 22

Abraham offered Isaac, his only son, to You--or was willing to. The faith of this always blows me away.  You do rub it in a bit--not just go sacrifice your son, but go sacrifice your only son, Isaac, whom you love,  I guess another way of testing Abraham.  Lessons: do what You say even when it seems wrong, the blessings of following You and doing Your will are many.  Always wonder what effect this had on Abraham and Isaac's relationship.  Feel like it wasn't great for it.  Introduces the idea of You asking for things just to see if we'll do it, rather than because You actually want us to do it.  Been a lot of that lately between us, I think.

Peace

Last night I was praying about traveling, because I'm traveling today.  Telling myself that You control everything and You would take care of me, and the knowledge that You were in control gave me a deep peace, even while on a much shallower level I was still worried.  It was weird, but profound.

Genesis 21

You performed a miracle, gave Sarah a child.  Then she gives another reason why Isaac means ‘he laughs’.  Don’t know why she mentions Abraham’s old age and not hers; hers is more important, after all.  Then Sarah is jealous of Hagar and Ishmael again.  She wants to banish them, and You tell Abraham to do whatever Sarah wants (really?  Why?  Why did You allow Abraham to give in to Sarah’s jealousy and pettiness?).  You save Hagar and Ishmael, show them where water is.  But it also doesn’t way what they lived on, and I bet it was a hard, hard life, especially for Hagar.  Poor Hagar.  It’s not her fault that her mistress was a witch with a capital B.  Abraham and Abimelech.  They make an oath and then they make a covenant with seven ewes.  Abimelech was a Philistine?  And Abraham built an altar to You.